Today, I celebrate my friend ShonnaPants.
Technically her name is Shonna, but I mostly
choose to ignore this fact. She used to
be a huge Spongebob SquarePants fan; either because she thought he was adorable
or because her unholy alliance with the color yellow clouded her judgment. Since giving people a hard time is one of my
favorite things, I started calling her Spongebob ShonnaPants. Eventually the Spongebob fell off and she was
left with a nickname that I think suits her.
Then again, I tend to append “Pants” to the names of most of my favorite
people; case in point, I call Joel “StinkyPants”. Anyway, I digress.
Shonna is one of those people who feels like home. There are times when she comes over to hang
out and she does her homework at our kitchen table while I do work
documentation. It doesn’t have to be
high maintenance, we can just “be”. On
several occasions, I have also come home to her making dinner in my
kitchen. I highly recommend finding a
friend with this habit. It is FREAKING DELIGHTFUL
to come home to the smell of homemade meatballs and spaghetti that you did not
have to cook. My mother has tried to
steal her for this very reason, but luckily she has been unsuccessful thus far.
She also fixes shit.
She can’t help it, it is in her nature.
If I have a project lying around and I leave it at half complete, she
will start tinkering with it and eventually finish it. One time she came over while I was
trying to hang up curtains and she ended up hanging them for me. Maybe it was because she couldn’t deal with
my whining about how heavy the power drill was and swearing when it wasn’t
working correctly, maybe it was because I wasn’t using the level and that type
of irresponsible behavior drives her crazy, but I’d like to think that instead
it was because she is just an incredibly helpful person and she knew I needed
her.
She is kind, thoughtful and generous. She is very deliberate when she is
considering something. I love this about
her. She never comes at me with some
idea that is half-cocked. I know that
when Miss ShonnaPants says “I’ve been thinking about something”; she really HAS
been thinking about it and I am in for a great conversation. Also this trait means that when she says “Tiffany,
you are wrong” or “Tiffany, you are overreacting”, I actually listen to her. Shonna doesn’t say shit unless it is
true.
So, all of that said, HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHONNA PANTS!!!
I was horrified at the very small number of pictures that I
have of us together. I have a few, but
either her eyes are closed or one of us is looking away. It’s ridiculous. I pulled this one from Halloween 2008 because
we are both looking at the camera and she makes a pretty sexy pirate.
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