Since I got a late start on this once every day thing, I decided that I would knock off 5 at a time and give a shout out to my FIVE older brothers.
Day 1: Jerry
Day 2: Perry
Day 3: Kerry
Day 4: Derry
Day 5: Berry
I should start by stating that my brothers have a different father than I do. While this fact has never been important to us, they were never my "half-brothers", it is important for the explanation of their names. When I was in junior high, I asked my mother why my brothers all had names that rhyme and I didn't. My mother said "Because you have a different father". This was obviously not an acceptable explanation for my inquiring mind, so I pushed further.
Me: "Yes, I understand that, but why do they all rhyme?"
Mom: "Because it was the only thing their father and I could agree on."
Me: "Well, maybe you should have stopped having sex."
Mom: "Tiffany, that's inappropriate. And mind your business."
This answer was fair, but to this day remains unsatisfactory.
At any rate, having five older brothers has always been awesome. Not only am I the youngest, but I'm the only girl. This has been both a blessing and a curse, sometimes both depending upon who you talk to. Some side effects of this relationship are as follows:
I never, ever, ever fell for a pick up line that any man has ever given me. Ever. When I was 11 one of my brothers, who will remain humanely anonymous, took me outside for a heart to heart. He said "Tiffany, do you see that hole in that tree?". I said yes. He said "Well, when a guy sees something like that he gets horny. That's how guys are. Any time they talk to you, no matter what they say, they are only thinking about having sex with you.". This was clearly enough to terrify me for a good long while, because what kind of sane gender gets turned on looking at a tree? Well played brother, well played.
I became competitive and ferocious. They made me round out the teams when they played basketball. Did I mention that my oldest brother is 25 years older than me and my youngest is 9 years older? Yeah...I got my ass kicked. But, it taught me to be tough. I remember my brother Berry teaching me how to pull down a rebound. "Throw one hard elbow to the left and one to the right. You might hit someone. You might get a foul...but once you hit someone with one of those they will never get close to you again." And he was right. I averaged four fouls a game throughout my high school basketball career, but I rarely had repeat offenders under the net.
Also, having five brothers that much older is essentially like having six dads. While it was super fun for me to bring boys home and watch them deal with this phenomenon, it was probably not as fun for the aforementioned guys. Joely (husband which I'm sure most everyone who is actually reading this already knows) passed the test with flying colors. Not all of them were so lucky.
Having five brothers made me cocky. When you are a girl with five older brothers, you can pretty much say whatever you want without fear of consequence. I always knew, under no uncertain terms, that they had my back. This was fine when I lived close to them and they were all but a phone call away, all more than willing to get in a car and come to my defense. However, this became complicated once I moved out of state. I remember attending a party in S.F. and getting into a fight with one particular asshat after I saw him kick the dog that belonged to the people who were throwing the party. My boyfriend at the time was horrified, but I never once considered what I would do if this guy actually had the audacity to hit me. I couldn't have called in my brohams to solve the problem for me...I would have actually had to fight. It wasn't until that evening that this thought really occurred to me.
At any rate my brothers played, and continue to play, a huge role in who I am today. Even though I may not talk to them as much as I would like, I could pick up the phone and call any one of them right now and pick up as though we talked every day of every year since I left home.
They are and always will be in my thoughts and my heart.
** Love **
Day 1: Jerry
Day 2: Perry
Day 3: Kerry
Day 4: Derry
Day 5: Berry
I should start by stating that my brothers have a different father than I do. While this fact has never been important to us, they were never my "half-brothers", it is important for the explanation of their names. When I was in junior high, I asked my mother why my brothers all had names that rhyme and I didn't. My mother said "Because you have a different father". This was obviously not an acceptable explanation for my inquiring mind, so I pushed further.
Me: "Yes, I understand that, but why do they all rhyme?"
Mom: "Because it was the only thing their father and I could agree on."
Me: "Well, maybe you should have stopped having sex."
Mom: "Tiffany, that's inappropriate. And mind your business."
This answer was fair, but to this day remains unsatisfactory.
At any rate, having five older brothers has always been awesome. Not only am I the youngest, but I'm the only girl. This has been both a blessing and a curse, sometimes both depending upon who you talk to. Some side effects of this relationship are as follows:
I never, ever, ever fell for a pick up line that any man has ever given me. Ever. When I was 11 one of my brothers, who will remain humanely anonymous, took me outside for a heart to heart. He said "Tiffany, do you see that hole in that tree?". I said yes. He said "Well, when a guy sees something like that he gets horny. That's how guys are. Any time they talk to you, no matter what they say, they are only thinking about having sex with you.". This was clearly enough to terrify me for a good long while, because what kind of sane gender gets turned on looking at a tree? Well played brother, well played.
I became competitive and ferocious. They made me round out the teams when they played basketball. Did I mention that my oldest brother is 25 years older than me and my youngest is 9 years older? Yeah...I got my ass kicked. But, it taught me to be tough. I remember my brother Berry teaching me how to pull down a rebound. "Throw one hard elbow to the left and one to the right. You might hit someone. You might get a foul...but once you hit someone with one of those they will never get close to you again." And he was right. I averaged four fouls a game throughout my high school basketball career, but I rarely had repeat offenders under the net.
Also, having five brothers that much older is essentially like having six dads. While it was super fun for me to bring boys home and watch them deal with this phenomenon, it was probably not as fun for the aforementioned guys. Joely (husband which I'm sure most everyone who is actually reading this already knows) passed the test with flying colors. Not all of them were so lucky.
Having five brothers made me cocky. When you are a girl with five older brothers, you can pretty much say whatever you want without fear of consequence. I always knew, under no uncertain terms, that they had my back. This was fine when I lived close to them and they were all but a phone call away, all more than willing to get in a car and come to my defense. However, this became complicated once I moved out of state. I remember attending a party in S.F. and getting into a fight with one particular asshat after I saw him kick the dog that belonged to the people who were throwing the party. My boyfriend at the time was horrified, but I never once considered what I would do if this guy actually had the audacity to hit me. I couldn't have called in my brohams to solve the problem for me...I would have actually had to fight. It wasn't until that evening that this thought really occurred to me.
At any rate my brothers played, and continue to play, a huge role in who I am today. Even though I may not talk to them as much as I would like, I could pick up the phone and call any one of them right now and pick up as though we talked every day of every year since I left home.
They are and always will be in my thoughts and my heart.
** Love **
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