Day 68 - Karen

As many of you already know, Karen is Riley's mama.  I also sometimes like to call her, Joel's Baby Mama. While this would be reason enough for she and I to have a strained, weird, competitive, shitty and/or non-existent relationship, we are actually pretty good friends.  

Of course, this didn't come naturally.  Truth be told, we had to work our assess off to get here.  However, since Riley's happiness was more important to both of us than anything else, we had the hard conversations.  We put all of the awkwardness and the stupid, bullshit insecurities aside.  We started listening to each other.  We started trusting each other.  We ended up genuinely growing quite fond of one another.  :-)

The first time I met Karen was in October of 2004 in the Walmart parking lot.  She was moving back up to the area and we were doing a Riley hand-off.  As soon as they got out of the car, he grabbed her hand and drug her over to me, then grabbed my hand and said "Mom...this is Tiffany.  Tiffany...this is mom.  You should shake hands now."  

Since then she, Joel and I have been a unified front.  When something major comes up in Riley's life, we discuss it and come up with a plan together.  He has never gotten to pit one of us against the other, not that he would now but kids try the darndest things when they are little.  :-)  


Some of the things I love about Karen...she's got a great sense of style.  She always says that she is bad at sharing her feelings and maybe that is true in the most fundamental definition of sharing.  However, anyone that knows her can learn all they need to know by taking in the way she expresses herself through her art.  She writes beautiful prose.  She takes amazing photographs that give folks a very intimate view of how she sees the world.  She shares more than she realizes, so long as you are paying attention.

Anyway, Happy Birthday Karen!  I hope your day is filled with new shoes, no shellfish, gourmet coffee and fantastic new ink.

Here is a shot of Karen and I and the tie that binds us...or at least the reason we bonded...Christmas of 2010.  It is a comfort to know that he refuses to smile no matter which type of Mama is trying to coax it out of him. ;)

Day 67 - Morning Meetings

Last evening marked my last "evening" meeting for this quarter.*  Half of my team is in Noida, India and most of the folks that work in the office there have a pretty long commute.  After I had worked with the team for a time and gained their trust, they started talking to me about the way we ran our meetings.  Someone that I work with had not seen his kid in THREE DAYS because he had to leave the house before the family woke up and got home after they were in bed.  This was in a regular week, not even during a milestone.

Naturally, I was horrified.

I should first say that my team, in its entirety from Seattle to Noida and everywhere in between, kicks ass.  It is chock full of hard working, passionate and amazing people who love our product and are willing to go the extra mile to make it as awesome as possible.  I have personally always been a proponent of work-life balance.  When I was purely an individual contributor, I always made sure that I took care of myself because I knew if I got too burned out I would be completely worthless as an employee.


While I do not have anyone reporting to me in my current role, I am on the management team and am responsible for monitoring the overall health of the project.  One of my most critical responsibilities is identifying, understanding and working with the rest of the management team to address any and all types of problems that I observe during our product development cycle.  This said, there are obviously times in the project where work-life balance has to be sacrificed a little, but this should NEVER be "the norm".  If people have to make a habit of working overtime every week, that means we are failing them.

So, one of the big ticket items on my plate during my visit to Noida last December was to agree upon a fair approach to meetings so that we had to share the burden across geographies.  The approach we decided on was that we would switch per quarter, one with all standing meetings evening time US and morning time Noida, then vice versa.   The US took the first shift of having all evening meetings.


It has sucked.


I'm still happy we did it, I still feel as though it was the right decision.  I think it is important that this burden is shared.  However, I am ECSTATIC to have a quarter of morning meetings.  Now...next week when I have to get up at 5:00 AM to make my 7:00 AM meetings I'll probably be singing a different tune, but at least I'll be able to have a relaxing dinner with my family and not have to tell everyone they need to be quiet so that nobody on the phone can hear them when I'm not on mute.


* This is a rule for standing meetings only.  I'm sure there will be occasions when an emergency comes up and I have to dial in to an evening call...but it will not be three-four nights a week.  :-)

Day 66 - Peacocks

I wasn't lying about that whole "put a bird on it" comment in my profile.  I'm a sucker for things that are shaped like birds, are stamped with the likeness of a bird or are made with feathers.  I am fond of owls and sparrows, I have a wicked tattoo idea for a quetzal that I plan on getting around to implementing soon, but my absolute favorite are peacocks.  They are majestic, all of those iridescent jewel tones melding together perfectly to create one of the most visually stunning creatures on the planet.

Depending upon where you are in the world and what you believe, peacocks are a symbol of pride, immortality and respect.  One of my favorite things about the peacock is that it eats poisonous snakes.  I like the idea behind that, something pure and beautiful being able to devour something harmful without consequence.  

When I was a little girl my mother's friend Shirley had peacocks on her farmstead, which was located a few miles out of town.  Just far enough away that I could not SEE the peacocks whenever I wanted, but I could always HEAR them.  I'm not sure if you have ever heard a peacock's cry, but a flock crying together sounds like children screaming.  Not cool peacocks...not cool.

Anyway, whenever my mom would go out for coffee, I would come with so that I could run around the farm and collect as many peacock feathers as possible.  Each time, Shirley let me keep one.  I believe she sold the rest.  I didn't realize at the time that I was being used for child labor, but I don't think it would have made any difference because my prize of one single feather would have still been worth the time I spent trompsing around.  My collection of feathers lives in my boudoir in a vase, high in a corner, fanned out to perfection.  When I take the time to stop and notice them, they still delight me as much as they did then.

Me, face painted with peacock goodness after attending a work party at Teatro ZinZanni.  I think it was 2006 or 2007...sometime before I realized that Duck Face was not cool.

Day 65 - Girl Scout Cookies

Joel and Tiffany vs. Girl Scouts
 
Nobody can resist Girl Scout cookies, unless you are a sociopath and/or are otherwise completely devoid of human desire.  Every year around this time, Joel and I employ a basic defense when it comes to going to local destinations...like the grocery store.  The first and most important step in achieving success is that we have already purchased cookies from a co-worker or friend's kid.  If this has not happened (ergo we are suffering from an absence of Girl Scout cookies), then all bets are off.


Here are the few simple steps that we have discovered which might help you survive Girl Scout Season.

1. Avoid the entrance that the Girl Scouts have secured.
2. If Girl Scouts are present at all entrances, consider another shopping location.
3. If this is not an option due to time constraints and/or high probability that Girl Scouts have infiltrated every nearby grocery option, then adhere to the following protocols:
1. While making your way into the establishment, maintain eye contact with one another with utmost focus and self control.
2. If cute girl comes up and directly questions one of you, break eye contact momentarily only to mention that you have already purchased cookies. 
3. If cute girl persists with aggressive sales tactics, such as "You can never have enough girl scout cookies" or "Oh...okay...thank you for supporting us and have a great day.", break eye contact.  Spouse with less or no cash runs into the store immediately and leaves the other behind with no remorse.  Spouse with cash stays to negotiate.  Negotiate means "buy as many boxes as you can with the amount of cash that you have".
4. Enjoy Girl Scout Cookies with reckless abandon.

So far this year, this flawless strategy has kept us at six boxes and going strong.  Until we run out of Do-si-dos...

Day 64 - Family Time

Joel and I stayed in a hotel in Chelan, WA over the weekend.  We traveled for the purpose of going to his uncle's funeral and I must say that it was one of the most inspiring I've ever attended.  I had only ever met Joel's uncle Larry once, so I think it is a testament to the man he was that the ceremony ended with me feeling loss over the fact that I did not have the opportunity to know him better.  


While a funeral is obviously not a joyous occasion, I did get to meet a group that quickly became my favorite McCousins.  All things considered, we had a wonderful time with the family and I look forward to spending more time with them under less distressing circumstances.  (Come to Seattle to visit, we have meatballs!  You know who you are!)


I also got to spend a lot of quality time with Joel.  Up until around this time last year, we had put "our" time on the back burner and with dire consequences I might add.  We had both forgotten why it was important to make time for being a couple.  I can write more about why it is so happy making that we remembered in another blog, but for now I'll just say that we had a spectacular time connecting with each other and remembering why we decided to do that whole lifetime commitment thing.


And...the view from our hotel room kicked ass.  We are plotting to go back soon, but in the case that you are stopping through, we both recommend the Best Western in Chelan.

Day 63 - Winter Wonderland

Joely and I had to drive to Eastern Washington on Friday.  We left at approximately A:SS AM.  One would be inclined to think that no good could come of this, and one would usually be correct.  However, we happened to be driving over Steven's Pass after a snowfall which meant that ALL of the trees were covered with snow.

It was like driving through magic.

In my half-conscious stupor, I stared out the windows and imagined that I could be impervious to the cold.  I would lie down underneath the web that the tree branches created and stare up through them for hours.  I wish we could have stopped for a photo shoot, but we were going to a funeral so we were on a schedule and I didn't bring my camera...because we were going to a funeral.  I did manage to take a few shots out the window with my phone while we were driving.

They didn't do the scene justice...but they are better than nothing.

 

Day 62 - Oden Maxwell

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY to one of my favorite boys on the planet.  I don't even know how to express the awesomeness that is Oden.  He is one of the most amazing kids I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.  He turned 5 on March 3rd and all I can say is that it is high time his parents graced us with a sibling so that there can be TWO most amazing kids I have ever had the pleasure of meeting in this universe.

I have so many funny stories about him that are too long for me to type, a lot of them happened while we were camping.  That kid has some hilarious antics that you must experience for yourself in the woods.  Some of my favorite Oden quotes are:
"See you 'round like a doughnut"
"Tiffany...those are the biggest earrings I have ever seen."
(After Joel said "Smell ya later Oden") "I SMELL YOU RIGHT NOW JOEL!"
"I've wanted one of those my whole life!"
"Tiffany...I LOVE YOU!"

While camping, one of the best sounds ever when doing the sleepy walk from your tent to the bathroom in the morning is when you pass "Oden's" campsite and he screams "GOOD MORNING TIFFANY!  MY FRIEND DADDY MADE ME BREAKFAST!"  Also, on a completely different camping morning, I woke up to hear Oden singing to the tune of Yellow Submarine "There's a Mommy...in the tent...and she's sleeping...in the morning".


Seriously, this kid is irresistible.  He can throw down and sing just about any Beastie Boys or Beatles song you can imagine with eerie accuracy, he loves Transformers, he's a good snuggler and he is a diabolical genius when it comes to negotiating the amount of broccoli he actually has to eat at dinner.  One look into those baby blues and I guarantee you'll be gonzo.

This is an action shot of Ri and I playing with Oden in October of 2011.

A shot of Oden and his supreme cuteness:

This is Oden giving me a kiss while I lounged at the beach @ Deception Pass, summer of 2011.  June seems suspicious.  

Day 61 - Worldtimeserver.com

If you have international meetings as much as I do, or if you even care what the local time is in Zimbabwe, this site is AWESOME: http://www.worldtimeserver.com/index.aspx

The "Meeting Planner" alone saves my bacon at least once a week, in particular when I have to set up a meeting between the US, Scotland and India.  (If that combination is ever US, China and India...forgettaboutit.)

Perhaps a lame attempt at a blog, but a really valuable tool so your ass should be thanking me even if I failed to entertain you.

Day 60 - My dog's unconditional love

Today was the kind of day that I had to struggle to think of something that made me happy. 

I got home this evening and while shoving leftover pizza in my face, I talked to Joel and Riley as much as I could in the 30 minutes I had in time before I had to dial in to my first meeting.  When I was finished, I ran around grabbing my phone, my laptop, my chargers, any other crap I needed to get together, went in to my room to set up and got ready for my meetings.  

As I was settling in, I looked down and Sophie was sitting on my bedroom floor with her stuffed hedgehog in her mouth, ready to play with mama. I stopped, looked at her and said "Oh puppy, I'm sorry.  I don't have time to play right now."  She dropped her hedgie, jumped up on the bed and settled down beside me to nap.

The purest form of unconditional love.  She doesn't need anything from me except to love her right back.  She just wants to be close to me.  

Joel says that when I have sleepovers at my girlfriends house, she sits on the couch and cries, staring at the front door and waiting for me to get home.  When I am home, she follows me from room to room.  When I lay down on the couch, she immediately jumps up and makes herself comfy on my legs.

Another day, Sophie Freckle Belly and all of her antics will be the subject of a blog.  That might seem like cheating, but she makes me so happy she deserves more than one blog to herself.  For today, the way that she loves me no matter what comforts me and makes me superbly happy.

I call this one "Mama, I've been waiting for you to come home my whole life!"

I call this one "Mama, I've been waiting for you to drop some ham on the floor for me my whole life!"

I call this one "Mama, I've been waiting for you to take a picture of us upside down snuggling my whole life!"

Day 59 - You Should Have Seen This

Today I'm too tired for a real blog.  This was my happy making thing last evening AND this evening because Riley and I are watching it together.  Seeing as how our family primarily communicates in sarcasm and pop culture references, we figured it was our obligation.

You Should Have Seen This - Internet Memes

By the way, my favorite internet meme ever is STILL the Numa Numa guy.  I don't know why, but every time I'm sad I watch that video and it makes me giggle out loud.  Every time.

Day 58 - Finnegan the Dino Rider

Our sweet little Finn was born 3 years ago today, which is a testament to that whole "time flies" thing.  

I may be partial, but I think he is one of the cutest little guys on the planet.  Since Finn and I have only known each other for such a short time, I don't have tons of examples to give about our relationship like I will when it is his Mama Beck's birthday.  Instead, I will provide a bulleted list of things that make him a supremely awesome little human...

• He loves reading, so much so that he insists that he brings books to bed with him.  
• He is a thoughtful little guy; when he and Mama were out he found a toy he wanted to buy for Sophie.  It is still one of her favorite things to play with.
• He knows how to work the system.  One time when he was over, Mama told him that if he wanted to play with cars, he had to do it at the table.  If he wanted to play with Sophie, he had to leave his cars on the table.  This was not acceptable to Finn because he REALLY wanted to be able to see his cars no matter where he was, so he said "Hey Auntie Sassy, want to play with Sophie?" and I said "Sure", at which point he handed me the bag of cars and said "Here, carry these!"
• He throws the horns on demand.
• He helps pick up his toys.
• He goes to bed without crying.
• He gives REALLY good hugs.
• He is crazy about his Auntie Shonna. Amidst all of the chaos of his birthday party yesterday, he kept asking for her.  It was so stinking cute. I think he is going to ask her to marry him pretty soon. I can't say that I blame him as she will make an excellent Sugar Mama.

Here is a picture of the little man and I on the night he was born:

Here is a picture of Finn and his favorite McCone.  When he wants to come over he tells Beck "Are we going to Sophie's house?"

 

Day 57 - Seattle Children's Museum

On Sunday, I went to the Seattle Children's Museum at the Seattle Center for the first time ever.  I was there for Finnegan's 3rd birthday.  Spoiler Alert:  The next blog is about Finn!

I had never had much of a reason to go.  I don't have kids and I don't watch anyone's kid often enough that it came up as a destination.  As I learned on Sunday, you can't actually go inside unless you have a kid.  I am in complete agreement with this policy, but it makes me sad that the gross nasty sickos have infected something that should be so sweet and innocent...because that place is ultra cool.

They have all of these little rooms with different themes.  Apparently they change some of them out from time to time, but it was fun to watch the kids running from area to area.  PLAY PRETEND CASHIER, RUN INTO PRETEND RESTAURANT, RUN OUT OF PRETEND RESTAURANT WITH STOLEN RUBBER FISH, PRETEND TO DRIVE BUS, BUILD SOMETHING COOL, RUN!  RUN!  RUN!  

It has been a long time since I've had to look down that much because there was danger of tripping over a wee one around every corner.  They were all so busy and happy.  Normally the thought of this many children in one area would terrify me, but it was actually really fun to see them all doing their thing.  Some independently, as though they were the only kids in the building.  Some focused on interacting with other people.  Some talking to the fish.  

I don't know, it was just happy making to see all those little germ factories having such a great time.

If you are a parent to a young child, live in this area and have never gone...get to it!
http://thechildrensmuseum.org/

Day 56 - Stickers with Annika

When Annika was little, for a brief time after she became aware of the world around her, I was one of her favorite people.  This was also during the time when she was terrified of Joel and would scream bloody murder every time he walked into a room.  I knew that I should enjoy it while it lasted because it would eventually come to a screeching halt and she would love Joel more than she loved me.  This happens with all children.  

As predicted, Annika went through her stage of loving Joel, then Riley, then Joel, then Sophie and Joel about the same, then pretty much all Sophie all the time.  I mean, she is still obviously quite fond of me.  I know she loves me because of the squeal and big smile and running and hugging and kissing that happens every time she sees me.  However, if Sophie is around then that is where it stops and pup pup and Ani Girl follow each other around the house for the rest of the day.

It had been kind of difficult for me to connect with Annika since she was diagnosed with autism.  She likes to focus on one thing at a time, it is almost always the dog and the dog almost always overstimulates her since they have such a good time.  Once their wild rumpus is finally over, she doesn't have a lot of emotional energy left to give Auntie Sassy.  

I missed hanging out with my Ani and I wanted to have a special connection with her, so that's when we started doing stickers.  I bought a scrap book, a box of crayons and a buttload of stickers.  Now, every time I see Annika (and I mean EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.), she and I sit down and do stickers.  We talk about the stickers.  I've learned that there are some she is more interested in discussing.  For the others, she puts herself to task and moves all of them from the sticky sheet to the paper as quickly as possible.  I also got a special set of stickers that were pink sparkly tiaras and every time we do our stickers she gets to pick ONE princess sticker.  I forgot these on Saturday, so of course the first thing she said to me was "Princess sticker?"  

AUNTIE FAIL!

Anyway, I love doing stickers with her.  It's our special Ani/Auntie time.

I found this crazy Tinkerbell decal (and Tink is one of her favorite things).  My first thought was THE ULTIMATE IN STICKER FUN WITH ANNIKA!  Then, once I got it home I realized that it came in pieces.  I envisioned Annika and I trying to put it on the wall, having a random wing coming out of Tink's leg and not being able to stop my OCD from taking over and saying "Um, that isn't were that wing goes."  SO, mama and I put it up after she went to bed.  Apparently Annika was ecstatic when she saw it in the morning, but Auntie was still sleeping and missed the whole thing.  

Exhibit A:  
Kai helps me prove what a bad idea it would have been trying to bond over this by showing the impossible outlines on the sticker sheet.  Why didn't they make the fairy in one piece?  Were the production costs really that much less?  I guess we'll never know.

Exhibit B:
Cute girl loves her Tink.  And her crazy monster hat from Auntie Em.  And not wearing pants.

Day 55 - Organizing

Since I've already fessed up about the spreadsheets and my desire to own a label maker, why not go a little deeper down the rabbit hole.  Some like to call it borderline OCD; I refer to it as a passion for organization. 

When I was young, I used to collect little ceramic Home Interior bears.  Sometimes, my mom would come in my bedroom and move them just to mess with me.  I'd walk in to the room and immediately know that something was amiss.  I would stand very still and look around, assessing all of my treasures until I noticed the little bear dressed up like a police officer was rotated 45 degrees.  He wasn't supposed to be facing the little bear dressed up like a baker; IT WAS MADNESS!

I have my own certain way of doing almost everything.  Being married has forced me to ease up on this a little, mostly for the sake of my own sanity.  My choices were going completely Sleeping with the Enemy on Joel or conceding to the fact that sometimes the different types of peanut butter wouldn't be lined up properly in the cabinet.  So far, I've survived the chaos without incident.

Kai used to try to help me fold laundry when she was over.  She would fold a towel and set it on the table.  Our conversation would immediately halt and I would stare at it, then at her, then back at the towel.  Conversation would go as follows:

Kai:  You are going to refold that, aren't you?
Me:  *sheepishly answers * Yeah.
Kai:  Did you refold the last one while I was in the bathroom?
Me:  *looks away, then sheepishly answers* Yeah.
Kai:  Would you rather that I stop touching your laundry, sit down, drink my wine and keep you company while you finish?
Me:  *answers in a rush of excitement and relief*  Yes please, that would be wonderful!

I just feel as though everything should have its place.  If you come to my house and it is in disarray (which means there is mail stacked up, the table runner and centerpiece are misaligned and there is hair on the bathroom floor), it is because I have either been gone, super busy or taken to bed in a mid-winter depression.*  It just makes me feel more comfortable to be surrounded by order.  There are so few things in life that you can control, your house should not be one of them.


I'm sure you can imagine how much pleasure I derive from good organization tips.  While waiting for my obgyn to come in and check out my business, I was reading O magazine.  (Take a minute to let the irony sink in.) It had the kind of organization tip that makes you slap your forehead and think to yourself "It makes so much sense".  Fold your fitted sheet, top sheet and all but one pillow case in a set and put them all inside of the last pillow case for storage.  This way, they stack nicely and you can pull just one out of the closet without standing there for 20 minutes trying to find that last GD pillow case.  It's brilliant, isn't it?


Well, I shared it with my doc as soon as she came in and she was ECSTATIC.  Apparently, she is a freak for organizing as well.  She then gave me a tip of her own...this is what I spent last evening doing after dinner:

Did that just blow your mind?  I think I opened and closed the door about 15 times just because I was so delighted to see all of the crap that I could never find just sitting there in front of me.  I can neither confirm nor deny that I might alphabetize the items over the weekend since I won't have to spend any time moving cans around to find the tiny bag of arborio rice.


*Except if it is dusty, because dusting is not my thing. 

Day 54 - Laser Hair Removal

Let's start this one with a simple fact: I'm incredibly pale skinned and have super dark hair.  

While I enjoy the positive aspects of this contrast, such as being compared to Snow White, having a luminous complexion, the ability to pull off jewel tones like a mofo and the effect that my wearing dark red lipstick has on most people, there are a few pretty explicit drawbacks.  

For example, people naturally assume I'm a goth or a drug dealer if I'm wearing too much black.  Also, you can see every single strand of hair that I have on my body from across the street.  

When I was in seventh grade, I was teased almost daily about my mustache.  I can't even remember how many times I walked home wiping tears off of my face.  It's always made me feel vastly insecure.  My parents, even though they were so far from being able to afford it, paid to drive me to a town 50 miles away to get electrolysis every four weeks for TWO YEARS.  They knew how much the hair bothered me and they wanted to help me be my most confident Tiffany.  How awesome is that?  The love of two amazing parents with a focus on the emotional well being of their child is probably the most happy making thing on the planet. 

Unfortunately, the procedure didn't work all that well and I ended up making some sort of peace with it.  I asked my mom to stop making appointments because I didn't want to waste any more of their time or money.  As most do, the insecurity faded a bit as I grew older but I was never able to shake it entirely.  I remember when Joel and I first got together and he would try to touch my face, I would pull away.  Getting touched in the face made me uncomfortable because I was horrified at the prospect of him (or anyone) feeling stubble.

When Laser Hair Removal first became a thing, I was interested in trying it but remained skeptical.  First, Laser Hair Removal is freaking expensive.  Next, the electrolysis didn't do a damned bit of good (and it hurt).  Lastly, I didn't get paid a whole lot when I was contracting and it the procedure was freaking expensive.  Did I mention it cost a lot of money?

Then came the groupon.  God bless the groupon!  I was able to work out a deal where I did my whole face and neck for $800.  Even though that seemed like a lot of money at the time, I would make that decision over and over and over again.  

I did no photoshopping of this picture; none, nada, zilch.  My skin is smooth like butter and this makes me obscenely happy: